Screenager
four hours;
one vidiot spawned.
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Remember when it rained all weekend?
It was raining when 40 boys, 36 Dads, and 5 Moms set up their tents on a September night at Allamuchy Scout camp. As the tarps went up, the water came down. The scouts made s’mores for dessert; the campfire chairs got wet around the fire.
“Not so bad yet,” said Campmaster Bill, with his ever-present grin.
The heavy grey clouds broke wide open in the middle of the night. The rapid-fire drops on the tent, like the BB Guns they shot that afternoon, woke up Alex and CJ.
“Will the rain get in?” wondered Alex. The rat-tat-a-tat on the tarp was no more than six inches from his nose.
The morning light revealed Campmaster Bill, his yellow slicker bright and wet, starting the coffee and eggs. The rain dripped down his neck before he put up his hood, the water collecting in puddles by the fire.
“Not so bad yet,” he said, his eyes twinkling with delight.
The boys promised to do their best and hiked up a muddy hill to shoot arrows. The arrow slick in his hands, Alex got a bulls-eye.
Next, the boys raced to the fishing spot, splashing and sliding the whole way. CJ caught the biggest fish in the whole world.
“Wow,” said CJ, “can I get another one?”
“Sure,” said Campmaster Bill, “it’s catch and release,” as the thunder rumbled behind him.
With soggy socks and pointy sticks, the boys took off for Rock Island. Skidding on soppy slopes, they found the secret path and spied on the camp next door. As the trees dribbled on their heads, the parents got tacos and rice ready in dutch ovens, the fire hissing and spitting in the damp.
“Not so bad,” said Campmaster Bill, wiping a drip off his nose.
They did their skits inside the humid canteen; the Infant-tree scared the crowd, the smart ass-tronauts were outwitted, and everyone agreed Campmaster Bill was nutz.
As they packed up the tents, there was not a dry scout in sight.
“Can we go to Rock Island one last time?”
The boys sloshed their way to discoveries as parents packed up the waterlogged gear into sodden carts.
“That wasn’t so bad,” said Campmaster Bill, “just a little rain.”
“It rained? ” said Alex
“When?” asked CJ. “I don’t remember that.”
Tingle: published!
I’m pretty excited my 50 word story Tingle got published on 50-word stories. There are some good authors that get selected and featured on the site.
Technology has personality
Technology has personality – it degrades gracefully and gracefully restarts. It is responsive and dynamic. It makes calls and wants to hang.
Logfile is triggered to monitor the performance.
Technology knows the Easter Bunny and drinks Java.
3 Lessons for today from an Senior IT Project Manager
1) SOLR is the devil – full of promises it can’t keep – it needs special configurations from specialists that never are quite right. SOLR is special.
2) Commenting out is better than deleting as Mr. Business will change their mind in 2 days.
3) Developers are nice enough but “works on dev” should not be trusted.
Technology is social
Technology assembles with a gateway that will deny you access. If you speak Linux, Linus is open to let you in .
In this bundle is the key and the code to the backdoor portal. Push the bit that accessorizes with malware and disguises a malicious virus.
While in the queue you have been scanned. You are deleted by a wall of fire.
Technology is a tree with lots of roots
Technology is a tree with lots of roots (a root directory, a root cause, root file systems).
Technology generates as a kernel and then gits branches and branches and branches and nodes and leaves.
It is live. It lives in different environments. It hosts bugs and generates SAP. Hack it down and make a STEM club.
Technology has a body.
Technology has a body. It has a life cycle that decays. It’s full of systems and redundant parts that are relational to each other.
It can be corrupted. It can be full. It has memory, goes to sleep and wakes up.
Technology has an end of life.
3 silly things I have heard as an IT Project Manager
1) Can you make it so it knows when a mistake is made and it just fixes that?
2) I got an email notification to approve this thing but I didn’t know what to do next.
3) Did you get my email with the requirements? Did you get my email? Did you get my email?
Y.A.M.S. a technology haiku
A batch job fails to run
Alerts are not sent promptly
Yet another monitoring script